I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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