i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
