Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I love black thongs
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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