I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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