Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
