smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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