I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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