We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish you could order shots online.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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