Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
