Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
