let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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