Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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