Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
