i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
