i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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