I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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