ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
