Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
