I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
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