Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
