I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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