But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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