By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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