I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
