Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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