You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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