the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
