There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This is my life. Enjoy the view
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
