Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
