I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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