C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
