Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
