At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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