Your dad touched me again.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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