Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
