Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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