so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
