if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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