Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
