I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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