She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
