bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
