Rock
Scissors
Fuck
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
