Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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