Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
