Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize