Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize