Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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