have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
