I like to think it a success when the cops are called
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
