I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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