ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
