we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
