Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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