Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
