yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
