She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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