Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
