i would punch a child for taco bell
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
