Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
it was like eating out sand paper
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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