bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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