Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
