I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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