Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
