you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Will exercising make me less horny?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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