Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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