it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
